Where My Loners At?!

School dance season is always a lovely time of year if you're in the typical teenager crowd- you show up to class and there's flower and a poem on your desk and ohehmgee that cute boy you've had your eye on asked you to homecoming/prom/whatever. Hooray! Time to go buy a dress and research hairstyles, asap!

And then there's the rest of us.

Those of us, who, referencing the popular internet meme, are "forever alone". We get excited about reading a book on the weekend, not hanging out with boyfriends/girlfriends. We watch with sadness/envy as the cool kids get asked to dances and such in cute and creative ways, and just sit back and say "Well, that's great, I'm happy for you!". We have lots of free time. We also usually enjoy sci-fi tv shows. Oh, and Pinterest. Now, I shouldn't have a problem with being a loner. I'm 17 years old, so technically I should be okay by myself (I am not entirely self-sufficient yet (see past blog entries about college and the future and stuff)), but watching cool kids get asked to dances gets exhausting. You walk around getting excited for other people and wish you, too, could be excited and go dress shopping and be cool. But alas. Someone has to hold down the fort while everyone else is on fun dates. And that someone is me. (Don't worry, I'll make sure everything stays safe and all of your shows get recorded and your facebook stays in check until you guys get back from your dates. And maybe I'll even bake some cupcakes for you guys to eat when you get back?...)

But there is hope. I have been told that I am the marrying type, not the dating type. Which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy for, like two seconds.... BECAUSE HOW DO YOU GET MARRIED WITHOUT DATING FIRST?!!! (Sorry, accidental caps lock and excessive punctuation. My bad.) I think the message that they're trying to get to me is "You can't get dates so how about you invest in a cat or something?...". (Which is cool I guess, because I already have a cat breed and name figured out and everything!) but it's also kind of a bummer. Maybe I want to have fun, too? I've been to dances before, but those opportunities are few and far between (and they usually involve dress budgets around...ehh... twenty dollars?). But I suppose this is my life calling- to stay lonely single and be productive, doing stuff like spending quality time practicing the cello, or doing homework, or reading, and/or scouring the internet looking for cats to start my crazy-cat lady cat collection. (I have my eye on a hairless cat on craigslist, and I swear, I WILL buy it if provoked.) Plus, if loners like me got asked on dates, who would keep the constant stream of new pins going on pinterest and like everybody's statuses on Facebook about their boyfriends and awesome dates? Nobody. The world would stop functioning. And Pinterest would be sufficiently less interesting. And your homecoming pictures wouldn't have any likes. And there probably wouldn't be a "geek" category on Pinterest, either. You're welcome.

But seriously, this thing I just wrote wasn't meant to be a mopey, "pity-me" fest. I have a point. I think.

I guess by being a loner I get to know myself a little better not defined by another person, as nice as it is to have someone by your side. But, hey, as the gangsters say, "no boyfriend, no problem", right? Plus, with all this free time I spend not talking to boys I get to write blog posts. And you people seem to enjoy these. Aaaaand, most teenage boys are immature anyway. I don't need no lameos in my life, that's for sure! So here's a shout out to all the lonely ones out there. You're not alone, you're clearly recognized by all the other lonely people (which is probably almost about as comforting as the "marrying type" comment (cut me some slack, I try to be inspiring/motivational)). But, hey. Maybe we can all be lonely together.

cats <3

college stuff and whatnot

Most people go on vacations over breaks (I hear that's what breaks are made for, but I think that's just a rumor), but that's way too mainstream for me and my family. Last Friday my parents surprised us with an impromptu trip to California to take my 5-year-old sister, Lani, to Disneyland for the first time. I was allowed to make the decision whether I wanted to go and miss some school, or stay and miss some Disneyland, because I'm almost an adult and stuff.
But before I go on, how about a tangent? The other day I was hanging out with my bff Bentley lol smileyface (that's what teenagers call their friends lately, if you're out of the loop), and it was starting to get late (it was 6 (my bedtime is 4 pm (just kidding, who goes to bed at 4?! Oh, wait, me.) (I actually go to bed at 7). But, seriously, it was getting close to 10, and I was basically staying out until my mom told me to go home, which is our usual routine. My mom ended up calling me around 10:30 to tell me it was late and I should get home. So I said okay and started home. Then I got a second phone call. My mom said nevermind, that I was almost an adult and could set my own curfew. Huh? I can stay out as late as I want? Then I got thinking about it, and she is totally right. A year from now, I'll be in college and can stay up and out as late as I feel like. Most teenagers would find this exhilarating/ empowering/ totally sickkk, but mostly it just scared me a little bit. Like I've said before, I doubt I can be a responsible, independent person who goes to bed at a reasonable hour, much less an adult who goes to school and works and HAS TO FEED HERSELF. Dearest me. I am a grown up. Well, almost. Let's just say I decided to go home anyway, because my mom is smart. Smarter than me.
But, anyway, I got to choose whether or not I went on this little California adventure (unintentional Disney park reference! Ten points for me!), and of course I had to think about it for a little because almost-grown-ups like me typically have lots of homework and productive things to do (ha). But in the end I figured that in a year, besides being an independently operating human being, I will also be poor. Boo! So my prospects of Disneyland in the near future are quite slim. But anyway, I said yes. We went to the beach, Lani and I walked on the beach hand-in-hand and collected pretty shells, and the whole ride home she was so worn out from all the frolicking in the waves that she was completely, drool-running-down-her-face passed out. Watching her sleep soundly with her little princess swimsuit on and a bucket full of shells still in her hands made me miss being little. Seriously, life is so much easier when you're five.
So anyway, we end up at Disneyland the next day. Lani was totally enthralled with the whole place. And the fact that all the workers called her "Princess" as they helped her into her seat didn't hurt, either. I was having a great day riding all the "scary" rides (ie: Splash Mountain, Matterhorn, etc.) with her and then we stopped for dinner later and my day got that much better. I was just walking around Main Street Disney, looking for somewhat affordable food, when my phone started ringing and it went to voicemail. I figured it wasn't that big of a deal, but maybe I should check my voicemail just in case. So I did and it was a call from an NAU admission counselor, telling me THAT I GOT ACCEPTED TO NAU. Now, I know for you future ivy-leaguers, this isn't a huge deal, but for me it is a HUGE deal! I got into a college even with some not-so-great (aka. terrible) SAT scores and average grades. I really am totally excited about this. The more I look into NAU the more it speaks to me... a great music program, small-ish student body, and it snows every once and a while. Which is pretty exciting for someone who grew up in the Phoenix valley of Arizona.
Anyway, so this is exciting and all, but what about Lani? She keeps asking me where my house will be when I move out. And if she can visit. And will I have a cat? And so do I keep going to school. And will I just automatically be a mommy after I move out? And don't even get me started about the questions about graduation. It's a hard concept to explain to a little girl. It's hard to think I will be gone for most of her childhood, and It makes me sad. I don't want to be one of those big sisters who moves out and disappears and only visits on holidays.
But, I guess I can't control that now so I might as well keep moving forward.