I've had a lot of thoughts, and I've observed a lot of stuff from girls who are going soon or have just gotten their calls, and I figured I should articulate some of this stuff because it might help someone. Who knows.
I want to address the girls who had a similar experience to me. I got my mission call to Nicaragua and I was shocked. And not necessarily in a good way. I was a little overwhelmed and surprised. I felt like this was my call, and like it was meant to be, but I just had the hardest time picturing myself in Central America. And speaking Spanish. I still do. There are times when I doubt myself. When I think 'there has to have been a mistake. I am not an Hermana' or 'I'm not even capable of doing this' or some sort of variation of that. For me, what trips me up the most is that I just cannot picture myself in Central America. Before I got my call, I always pictured sisters in places where I had known someone who served there- like Belgium (my aunt staci), Japan (my aunt Steph), Canada (my dad), or a stateside mission like Arizona Gilbert mission, where I am from. Spanish was never really an option. Neither was third world. Or in a rainforest. I just hadn't really seen a lot of that amongst my friends and family. I always pictured if I did get called to speak another language, id speak French or Japanese like my aunts. I had this weird narrow view of what being a sister missionary meant and what a sister missionary looks like and does.
Now, of course, my view has been totally changed. But I suppose the point of a mission is to change people and change yourself, right?
So, I prayed about it. I wanted to feel like this call was MY call that is perfect for me. I wanted to be able to see myself pulling this off.
Spoiler alert- I never got the feeling. Still haven't. But, one thing did change- I have started to see that I am actually really grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who wants what's best for me, and knows me better that I know myself.... So well, in fact, that he is sending me to a place I'd never choose for myself. Because, if I got to choose where I served then I would end up missing out on all these awesome things that Heavenly Father has in store for me in Nicaragua that I can't even picture for myself.
So, I guess what I'm getting at is that when you put those mission papers in, you're going to picture your dream missions. Places you can see yourself. Places you've always wanted to go. But, id encourage you to be brave and be open minded to whatever happens. Dreaming of a foreign mission and a new language and you get sent stateside? Guess what- there are people there who need you and our love and your service. A mission isn't an exchange trip or a vacation. And plus, think of all the girls you will influence to go on missions and think of how many countries they'll go to! That's a huge web you've created, all through your righteous example. I know I wouldn't be where I am without the awesome sisters in Arizona. Or if you say 'I don't want to go somewhere cold' and you get sent to South America, don't get stressed. It'll all be okay! Guess what? Heavenly Father knows you so well and has awesome things in store for you. Even if those things include melting in the summer. It's all part of the adventure.
---
D&C 78:17-18:
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;
And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours."
Hymn 270:
"But if, by a still, small voice he calls, to paths that I do not know
I'll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine;
I'll go where you want me to go."
