the thrilling life of a new adult

well.

i'm done.

it's over.

like, for real. I am a high school graduate. When did that happen?! I know I have been complaining for, like, 13 years about getting out of here but it all happened in a blur and here I am! At work. Watching the clock, hoping 5 rolls around faster so I can go home. Ah, yes. Adulthood. Exactly as I imagined it would be.


I also woke up on Tuesday freaking out (typical)because I suddenly realized that I just began the rest of my LIFE. I just opened a new chapter which includes going to college, dating attractive return missionaries, marrying one of those hawt return missionaries, having a kid or two, graduating college....like, seriously. This stuff will probably all happen to me within the next decade. I realize it's happening, but it still hasn't hit me. I still think I'm going to go back to Queen Creek High School in July and start up another year. It is so surreal.


And part of me wonders if it will ever really "hit me". Do you notice you're getting older as it's happening? Or do you only notice once it passes you by? It seems like just yesterday I was going to Queen Creek graduation my sophomore year for orchestra and watching my "grown up" friends don their purple n' gold cap and gowns and walk across the stage, and I missed them and we cried and then they left and it was over and it really did feel like it would take a lifetime for me to get there. Aaaaand apparently it ran past me so quickly that I barely even noticed. It was like ten seconds had passed and suddenly I was wearing that purple cap and gown and walking across the stage.


The day of graduation I had to get up early. Graduation rehearsal was at 8 am and attendance was mandatory. So I rolled out of bed and stood alphabetically- Hegel, Haws, Harris- with my two line buddies and we sat in our rows and the kids complained about how totally laaaame the principal was and how totally lame getting dressed up for a graduation ceremony was (how dare the school tell us we have to look nice for theonly high school graduation we'll ever have. Those monsters. ) and how they were so tired and wanted to go home and then graduation practice was over. So we went home and I curled my hair all nice and put on my fancy dress I had acquired for the occasion. And then I went to put on my cap and gown and that's where I felt a little weird. Like, aren't I just a baby? They don't let babies graduate. There must be a mistake.

But then I looked in the mirror and I was this 18 year old who had not just gone to high school but finished. And I wasn't a baby- I was really tall and was capable of driving a car by myself and had a job. And suddenly I realized I was COLLEGE BOUND in a few short months. And then my mom told me it was time to go.

So I got dropped off to go early with orchestra. We rode the bus and exchanged stories about our orchestra adventures from the past few years. And I had this pain in my chest when I thought about how I technically wouldn't be a member of Queen Creek High School Orchestra and that I wouldn't be orchestra president anymore.....and how it was literally hotter than the depths of Hell on that bus and my dress apparently wasn't very breathable because I was sweating like a pig.

So we finally get there and we do sound checks and talk and remenisce and we take our senior group picture with Mrs. Payne. And then the teacher tells us it's time for us to leave to go join the other graduates and well, you know, graduate.

I join my line buddies in HarrisHawsHegel formation and we walk into the arena to the tune of Pomp and Circustance being played by some of my closest friends. And my face is on this ginormous jumbotron and I wave.

We're finally sitting and the speeches start. They're funny and encouraging and poignant, and I feel so sad that I don't feel sad at all. Then it's my turn to leave the crowd of graduates for one last song with the little orchestra that had been my musical family for the past three years.

AND CAN I TAKE A BREAK REAL QUICK TO JUST SAY THAT MY CELLO WAS OUT OF TUNE SO I HAD TO FAKE PLAY MY LAST SONG OF HIGH SCHOOL. YEAH. CARRY ON.

So anyway, then it's our turn to actually get our diplomas and suddenly I'm on stage and holy crap I'm next and then I walk up and grab my diploma, get excited, and sit back down.....and then I realize that I pretty much just initiated the beginning of the rest of my life. Not my high school life where I had to do what was expected of every other highschooler or where friends were petty and annoying (no offense, love you guys <3) or where I didn't have any other choice but to sit there and wait it out. Nope. Now I could pretty much do whatever I want. My new life will consist of all the exciting things, all the REAL things. And, as startling as it is to suddenly be here, I could not be more thrilled.