adventures in hair

dear diary,

today is the third day in the last three years (but specifically the last 2 weeks) that i have not washed my hair.

i would say the pickiness regarding my hair began 2 days before I started junior high. I was twelve, and I wanted to try to spice up my lame, ash brown bob into something a little more exciting...so hair dye seemed like a logical change. I went to the store with my mom, picked up a box of herbal essences auburn hair dye, and came home to try it out. I followed the directions to a T-- mixing everything correctly, having my mom help with the application, setting the timer for exactly 20 minutes. And the whole time my mom kept saying "wow, this is really red-looking" and little twelve-year-old me was like "oh, itll look different on my hair, I'm sure" but to be honest, I think I was a teensy bit worried about the outcome of this grand hair-dying adventure, and I anxiously waited the 20 minute block out to see my crazy new 'do.

Right as the timer rang I rushed to wash it out and, to my horror, it was red. Really really really red. Fire hydrant red. Or, that's what I remember (in hindsight, it probably wasn't all that bright. I was just an insecure little girl who was quite shy and couldn't really rock any sort of unique hairdo). But anyway. It was really really really red. I remembered sitting in front of the mirror, staring at my vibrant locks and wondering why the crap did I just do that to my hair. AND it was two days before my FIRST DAY OF JUNIOR HIGH. Oh dear. This is a disaster, I thought. I could never reverse this (this was before my days of being a hair-dying master and knowing that I could pretty easily fix this disasterous 'do with an 8 dollar box of hair dye from the store and a little know-how, but whatever) and I would be stuck with Ariel hair (but less pretty because it was short and not a lovely flowing mane) for the rest of my life and people would laugh at me and what was a girl to do? I decided to wash it again. I noticed everytime I washed it the dye faded a little....and this was where a monster was created, my friends.

Yes, I do believe that this was the day that I became addicted to washing my hair.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, how is that a bad thing? Are you upset at yourself for taking too many shower and being far TOO clean? Nope. Turns out washing your hair daily is a bad thing.

But, first, another hair mis-adventure in the life of Lauren.

So it was the fall of last year, and I had my hair the longest it had been since kindergarten. I loved my hair.It was long. it was thick. It was just lovely. But it was battered. Seriously. My hair was on it's deathbed. But, of course, me being the obsessive hair-washer that I am, I just kept washing and blow-drying it...ON A DAILY BASIS. I was literally frying my hair. Not to mention I had a little adventure with some blonde-ness for the summer and that basically beat the crap out of my hair.
But alas, I didn't notice the damage until it was too late. I just kept straightening with my 500+degree (and probably illegal/black market purchase) straight iron and equally damaging curling wand. I never deep conditioned, never trimmed, and one day I made a truly heartbreaking discovery.


My hair was uneven. Seriously. I had fried one side of my hair so badly that it was shriveling up and making one side about two inches shorter than the other.
My worst nightmares had been manifested. I had to cut my hair that I loved so dearly. There was no other way (except maybe getting extensions on just one side, but that's kind of dumb). So I called up my fabulous hairstylist and made an appointment. I felt like I was going in for an evasive surgery. Or maybe going to my own execution (that may seem dramatic, but most girls will understand the weird emotional attachment to hair).
At my appointment, I explained my dilemna and (I completely blame myself for this one) I said "Can you take off all the dead stuff? And can I have layers?" You know in horror movies where the stupid victim hears a noise in the cellar and is like "Well, that was scary. Better go see what that was!" and you want to throw things at the TV and scream NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING CLEARLY IF YOU HEAR  A NOISE IN THE BASEMENT THERES A PROBLEM LIKE SERIOUSLY DUH? Or in a romance movie where the effortlessly beautiful main character meets the dashing troublemaker and falls in love and you know he's cheating on her and you're like NO HE MAY BE CUTE BUT HE'S BAD NEWS? Yeah, if this was a movie of me and I was watching it I would probably say NO DON'T ASK FOR THE DEAD ENDS OFF YOU KNOW THAT'S HAIRDRESSER CODE FOR "CHOP IT ALL OFF PLEASE" NO STOP LAUREN and throw handfuls of popcorn at the screen.
She started cutting and she put a peice of hair in front of me and said "That's a long piece". And I felt my stomach drop because it was AT LEAST 4, maybe 5 inches shorter than my old hair. I wanted to cry. The regret was terrible. I sat there and watched all my beloved hair fall to the ground and I tried to stay calm. But when I got home to my new, actually kind of short haircut, I bawled. My hair was gone. I didn't even feel pretty anymore. I was seriously distraught. And before you all judge me, none of you can claim that you've never cried over your hair before because I KNOW you have!

So anyway, here I am, 8 months later and my hair is still no where near the length that it was. I want my long hair back. And I am bound and determined to get it there before I go to college in January.

I decided something had to change. Why was my hair suddenly at a standstill? Why wasn't it growing faster? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! And so I asked my aspiring cosmetologist sister who seriously has some of the most fantastic, long hair I've ever seen in my entire life, and she said "Well, stop wahsing it everyday".

What the heck? Why would I do that? What a ridiculous request. She was silly. I could keep washing my hair, it gets icky....right?? If I don't wash it, it turns into an oily mess. But, according to her, not washing it regulates the oils and encourages it to grow. And it keeps it from breaking off, so it appears to grow faster. Sounded pretty mice to me, but I could literally not even stand the thought of my second day hair. At least, not at school.

But I just graduated high school. And I have until January until I start school. So what better time to start than now?

So here I am, my third time not washing my hair. And I will admit, it gets so much better. So wish me luck, I will have my hair back by college, and healthy this time.

And I'm gonna be the cutest college freshman you ever did see at BYUI. Not to mention really humble, too.

sigh. my old hair. RIP. you are missed.

look at that uneven hair of mine. oh dearest me.

a post haircut shot. can you see how short that is?! and look how distraught i am. I wasn't kidding.